Glorious morning! It is now time for much merriment making! Now I will tell you of what things in news are giving me chortles.
Leader Obama continues to explain his health care plan to public. This is great foolishment. True leader should explain things only once and then leave large pictures of his face all over city so that people may stare at them and be assured that explanation was true. Those who request further explanation are only wanting troublemaking and should be dealt with thusly.
Speaking of troublemaking, elderly woman breaks law in Britain selling goldfish to fourteen-year-old boy. Her lawbreaking not disputed, yet she complain of punishment. It is not for her to complain of glorious laws made to make society happy! Know what would be funny outcome? She disappear forever and is never heard from.
Leader Obama will now support glorious drilling offshore off East Coast of country. This should be time for merriment, but many say this change from what Leader say before. How can so many remember wrong? Perhaps things like Jersey Shore and listening to the Lady Gaga cause brain rotting. So much better for mind is biopic of Leader's greatest accomplishments. Right now is just mainly music and dance numbers, but it is being added to as the Leader's glory continues.
New joblessness claims dropped 6,000 to all time low number of 439,000. This is unbelievable! We should all sing praises of our leadership! If this continue, we will soon have more jobs than people! Ha ha ha ha! What a funny idea! I guess slave labor will just have to work extra hard if that happens.
Merriment time over. Work time is now. Have shiny day of much wonderment and efficiency!
Hey, Mao Kitty Kat, could you get us an interview with the axe in Trotsky's head?
ReplyDeleteWe hear and obey, great leader!
ReplyDeleteFilthy Rethuglicans. Thank Chairman, only good communist on this sight.
ReplyDeleteI see I MAO have new posting thingie. Great Leader must be drinking cases of beer again after falling off wagon. But since Great Leader know better, I just shut up and fondle hope and change beads as I pray he don't send Obots to silence my smart ass.
ReplyDeleteGreat leader has ordained all to mount buckets on head to stop reactionary forces of global warming. The right and only One commands from his beneficence that His will be done. All hail Arugula!!
ReplyDeleteCounter-revolutionary pet shop owner should be given 20 years hard labor!
ReplyDeleteGlorious leader Obama will make sure we are never plagued with such social disorder. Today, the party will introduce new rules:
1) background checks for all pet buyers
2) 10 waiting period for parakeets
3) 1 gerbil per month rule
4) Cats and dogs must adhere to "one kitten/one puppy" policy
I for one welcome the wisdom of our comunist overlords. To Celebrate the change, I will go to work and not take a paycheck. I will work today for the benifit of the workers and the proliteriat, not a failed capitolist ideal....
ReplyDeleteJust kidding! I don't realy have a job.
Current event: we chase Ramius to east coast of Capitalist Pig Dog States. The hounds to the hunters!
ReplyDeleteI submit to Glorious Homosexual Leader! Oops! Off to camp for me!
ReplyDeleteIt is with urgency great, and delight many that we obey glorious leader. Much shame will we make if failing to his standards rise in future all events much so.
ReplyDeleteBeing great fan rolling in aisles at new Merriment from glorious leader it sadden me that I so foolishly choose such a derogatory name for self. Note also that the "B" in "Capitalist_B" is same as "B" as in Austin Powers II's "Fat B" who wanted to put Baby in Belly.
ReplyDeleteSince March 13th? Why am I just hearing about this site Now? Is this a Peoples Cube marriage? Am I best man? Am I best man? This is not my beautiful wife!
ReplyDelete